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Fear of Success = Self Sabotage
| | Thursday, January 29, 2004 @ 08:00 AM EST
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Contributed by: Chris Berglan
Chris Berglan Properties
Read more archived articles about Managing
I have been having a problem lately and I think it’s something that needs to be addressed here as well. I have seen several of my deals fall through at the last minute. Why? All of these deals could have been saved, but were not. After sufficient research I have seen that my problem is self sabotage. I took to the internet and the book stores. I did research on this subject until I felt I fully understood it. I feel like I must share what
I have found. There are several reasons people sabotage themselves….
1) Fear of losing what you have. No one wants to be that story we all hear about losing everything on one, two or a continuous string of bad deals.
2) Fear of being punished for being successful by friends and family. The fear that your family and friends will be jealous or treat you differently because of the money.
3) Fear that you will not be able to maintain the success and therefore embarrass yourself, friends and family.
4) Fear of losing your personal identity. We’ve all heard the saying that money changes everything and we may fear that it will change us for the worse.
5) Fear of being suddenly overwhelmed with cash flow. Yeah, I know it doesn’t make much sense but if you really focus you can feel that tingly feeling in your chest when you think of having that first $20,000 profit deal.
6) Fear of losing your position with your friends and family. Everyone knows that family member who is successful but nobody wants to be around them. They could be a jerk, gloat, brag or otherwise make other members feel less important.
7) Fear of the responsibility that success demands. Maybe we think that we cannot handle the task? After all maybe we’ve never taken on something this big before. We have just learned that success is really possible and that’s scary.
8) Fear that if you succeed, people will only want your money and not care about you. This is a biggie, but can be classified with a couple of the others in that…we don’t want to loose who we are. We may see that money is just a tool and nothing more, but others may not and we could become “that guy with the big pocketbook” instead.
9) Fear of the unknown. The biggest of all, and yet the easiest to answer. By addressing this fear we can answer all the others. We actually do not know what is out there. We are taking a road we have never traveled before. We don’t know the potholes, the troubles, the side roads. Lucky for us we have friends with a map.
I would like to add that in my situation, I was scared of all of these. I had forgotten that as I travel down this road I am learning how to deal with the pot holes. My frame of mind is changing. I can honestly say that in my current state of mind that success would be fleeting, so I am always on the lookout for information. A problem well defined is halfway solved. Once I knew what it was that was stopping me, it was fairly easy to overcome. I could finally see that as I learn I will no longer see things the same way. My views will become different and I can stay grounded. Money only takes over if you let it. I decided that I need to stop trying and guess the future. Success or failure was dictating to me how things were going to be. It was time I took my life back.
Sounds cheesy I know, but it’s a proven in sales day after day that “fear of loss, hope to gain” rules every decision we make. That’s how they sell you. These fears are played on by the people you see, meet, talk to, the commercials you see on TV, billboards, everywhere you look. I would say to those experiencing this same problem to realize that you are looking at the future with today’s eyes. The knowledge to deal with these issues will come to you in time. Don’t fear, learn.
I wanted to share this with you so that maybe I can help someone else overcome their fears and face life head on.
Word Cloud:
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